Crying in H mart - Book Review

A few days ago Anisha Gopinath had shared about a book she had read. I always note down good recommendations in my never ending TBR. For some reason, I felt instantly drawn to this book. A book about grief? I wanted to be in the middle of it. 

Although it took me a few days to get through the whole book (because of my schedule) it was always in the back of my mind. I thought it was very simple, baring and unadorning. I am a big fan of writing like that, I yearn to be a writer who can use simple words and sentences but make you feel deep, grand things in your emotions, your memories and your heart. A writer who can just reach out and touch your soul with their pen.

It is written from the girl's POV entirely, but who stood out for me was the mom. The struggle between mothers and daughters it seems is a Universal one. They hurt us trying to love us and we don't know how to be with them when we're grown up. We understand eachother the most, but also face the biggest difficulty in making the other person see us. We are forever separated and tied together in this bond that is mother-daughter. That I thought was so nicely encapsulated in this book. It was a great read, short and engaging. Definitely made me nostalgic for a Korean childhood (that I most definitely did not have and don't have any context for) and made me crave Korean food.

When I Hit You: Or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife - Book Review

I finally found the time and space to read this book. This one is now off my TBR after patiently waiting for me to arrive at its turn for years. 

This book is a raw account of what a newly-wed, bright, young writer experiences at the hands of her violent, abusive husband. It captures the silent and dehumanising way in which her spirit is broken under the pretense of marriage. It uses how her family reacts to her abuse to remind us what we know in our bones as Indian women- the salty truth about the way every Indian family reacts to abuse- with excuses to persevere; tears, blackmail and silent treatments asking women to prioritise the family's reputation over our physical and mental safety; they even remind you this is normal in India and that women get beaten and raped by their husbands all the time. 

Her storytelling robs you of your ability to overlook such violence and makes it impossible to not take it in. It catches you off-guard with its brutal honesty. There is always something or the other happening to women in this country. There's no inkling of doubt that we are forever in danger as long as we live here. We are not safe in our homes, on the streets or even at work. To me, the crude violence women and girl children endure within the walls of their home, the place that is supposed to keep them safe is the most heartbreaking of them all, because where do you run from there? Whom do you look to for safety, if your family is enabling or atleast complicit in what is happening to you? We tend to think rape and abuse and violence happens to women who stray, who are too modern and not to women who follow the rules. But marital rape and domestic violence happens to married women, women who care and dote after their husbands and this is proof that even when you bow down to the patriarchy and accept it's rules, you still won't be safe, you won't be spared because this system was not meant to keep you safe, in any form or matter anyway.