When I Hit You: Or, A Portrait of the Writer as a Young Wife - Book Review

I finally found the time and space to read this book. This one is now off my TBR after patiently waiting for me to arrive at its turn for years. 

This book is a raw account of what a newly-wed, bright, young writer experiences at the hands of her violent, abusive husband. It captures the silent and dehumanising way in which her spirit is broken under the pretense of marriage. It uses how her family reacts to her abuse to remind us what we know in our bones as Indian women- the salty truth about the way every Indian family reacts to abuse- with excuses to persevere; tears, blackmail and silent treatments asking women to prioritise the family's reputation over our physical and mental safety; they even remind you this is normal in India and that women get beaten and raped by their husbands all the time. 

Her storytelling robs you of your ability to overlook such violence and makes it impossible to not take it in. It catches you off-guard with its brutal honesty. There is always something or the other happening to women in this country. There's no inkling of doubt that we are forever in danger as long as we live here. We are not safe in our homes, on the streets or even at work. To me, the crude violence women and girl children endure within the walls of their home, the place that is supposed to keep them safe is the most heartbreaking of them all, because where do you run from there? Whom do you look to for safety, if your family is enabling or atleast complicit in what is happening to you? We tend to think rape and abuse and violence happens to women who stray, who are too modern and not to women who follow the rules. But marital rape and domestic violence happens to married women, women who care and dote after their husbands and this is proof that even when you bow down to the patriarchy and accept it's rules, you still won't be safe, you won't be spared because this system was not meant to keep you safe, in any form or matter anyway.