Finding me: A Memoir by Viola Davis - Book Review

A completely baring, dismantling, raw, honest memoir. So honest it sometimes made my eyebrows furrow with worry, it made my insides quiver with unease and left a taste in my mouth. I heard the audiobook version, narrated by Viola herself and that made everything 100x more intense and real. Unlike fiction, there is no benefit of the doubt in memoirs and autobiographies- every cruelty in the book is real, every horrible thing mentioned was endured not imagined. It is impossible to dismiss or overlook the ruthlessness because it is somebody's life story, their history. Whether you like it or not, it exists and it muddles up your mirage. 

The book starts from the very beginning of her life, takes you through her very hard and heartbreaking childhood, her family dynamics, her education, her acting career, her marriage, all the way up to her success. Learning about young Vi was very dispiriting but it was so important to go neck deep with her into her past to truly understand the person behind the big name. For someone to come from such abject poverty and hopelessness to where she is today, is an unimaginable feat. I really didn't need any context to call her one of 'The Greats' before reading this book, but knowing her story makes my conviction that much stronger. 

There were many paragraphs where I just paused the book, opened the ebook version to read those lines again and again and to admire the depth of what she had said. It is always a learning- reading about the experiences of people, especially an oppressed people- and growing your sense of understanding about the world you live in, it fuels your empathy. That learning is never-ending and that is why it is so important to read. 

The last chapter alone has my whole heart. It is a fully grown, adult Viola talking about the most profound struggles of being a black woman, not fitting the conventional beauty standards, being a certain size and having a perceived unfeminine voice and physique, in Hollywood and theatre. If this is how Viola Davis, the star of stars feels I couldn't imagine how the others felt. Many of her thoughts and words about not fitting the beauty stereotype gave shape to emotions I didn't know I harbored. A thoroughly heartbreaking and inspiring read. Highly recommend the audiobook version, her voice is the voice that should be telling you this story.