I'm back from the trip and it is almost the end of the month. My sister tells me she needs to buy another birthday outfit. I ask her what happened to the last one? She casually says I gave it to you for your honeymoon photoshoot. I'm horrified. Why didn't you tell me it was new and that you were saving it for your birthday? She simply says if I did, you wouldn't have taken the dress with you and gotten such beautiful pictures. I'm speechless. She says now help me pick another one. ❤️
I tell myself Indian women are unmatched in their love, they're the best.
It is lunch time, I'm onboard. I'm stood deciding whether to take Basmati rice or sticky rice onto my plate. Cindy (Cinderella) my crew walks in and she's wearing beautiful beige corduroy bottoms which look like the picture of comfort. I tell her I'm obsessed with her pants. She confirms they're indeed very comfortable, we chat for a bit and then go on to eat lunch at our respective tables. Next morning I'm at the mess room again, drinking tea and asking my crew about their jobs while Cindy walks in with a pair of black corduroy pants in her hands saying she has another pair of those comfy pants that I really liked and asked if I wanted to try them. She says "it has some elastic at the waist, you should try it Chief and if it fits you, you should take it". I tell her but I'm not even close to your size and we laugh. I'm so touched. ❤️
It is a bright, chilly morning in Antwerp, Belgium. I've gotten permission to go ashore. After an unexpected visit from the port authorities in the morning, I'm running to my cabin to shower and get ready. I shout out to my Chinese cadet on the way to fill up my water bottle too. A few hours later, we're on the road and I'm thirsty, I take a sip and the water is very warm and not what I expected. I make a face. She sees me and says "Chief iss very cold ousside you know, you needa drink hot-uh wat-ur, not cold-uh wat-ur. Iss no good for you"
*dismissive hand action*
I have zero complaints after that ❤️
It is a hot day in Lagos, Nigeria. We've already finished 4 ship-to-ship operations, with 2 more to go. The routine has become so tiring and machine-like. There has been very little rest interspersed in between way too much action. I had skipped breakfast that day because we were called in an hour early. When I came back later to grab a toast and some tea, I noticed a small packet of 4 biscuits. I ripped it open in hunger and was pleasantly surprised by the sweet and salty, midly spicy and herby taste. It was fantastic. I turned the packet around to find it was made in Bangladesh, even though the taste was so familar to me I assumed it was Indian. I made a mental note to ask my Bangladeshi Engine Cadet about it. When I ask her later, she is so happy that I would like a simple biscuit so much. I tell her it reminds me of Maska Chaska. Few days later she catches me on the staircase and hands me 7-8 more packets saying "ma'am I want you to have this". I refuse instantly, she is a cadet, a child. Ofcourse I couldn't take from her. I tell her she's going to stay longer onboard and she would need it more than me. She asks me not to worry and thrusts them into my palms with a smile. She says please have it for me, it will make me happy ❤️
I walk down with all the biscuit packets in my hand when I run into the Bangladeshi Fifth Engineer coming back from the Engine Room. She recognises the biscuits and asks me, I tell her what happened with the Engine Cadet and how grateful I was for all the love. She is amused, she only listens and smiles the whole time. Later I find another 6-7 packets of the biscuit left quietly on my table, this time from the Fifth Engineer who says she wanted to give me some too ❤️
I'm starting to think it's an Asian women thing.
I've barely been onboard 2 weeks. One day I notice 2nd officer's different looking beverage mug. I ask her about it. She shows me with excitement how it has an attached tea strainer and I'm thoroughly impressed with the design. I quickly search for it on Amazon but cannot find it. She hands over duty to me and goes down to rest in her cabin. A few minutes later, she is back with her phone in her hand, asking me to pick a color. I see the same mug on the screen on a shopping website. I say- but how do I get it? I don't live in the Philippines. She says she'll order it to her house and have it Dunzo-ed to anyone who is joining next from Manila to bring it onboard. Before I could politely say no I don't want to be of any trouble, she has already placed the order. We don't even know when the next crew change might happen, but the kindness in her didn't need all that information. I tell her I need more things from the website just so she won't refuse my money when I pay. ❤️
It's after dinner. I've eaten something wrong and I have severe indigestion. I have terrible nausea and stomach pain followed by diarrhoea throughout the night. I cannot catch even a few undisturbed minutes of sleep except when I'm resting on the toilet waiting for the next wave to hit. The next morning I'm given a sick day and told to rest. My Chinese cadet at lunch time, texts me full sentences asking about my "abdominal pain and distension"- using words I know that she doesn't yet have in her very limited vocabulary. She is using Google translate to enquire about my health and talk to me. ❤️
We are all in the recreation room talking about silly, random, happy, good things while listening to our fellow Filipino crew singing karaoke. When we talk about weight, I mention I have PCOS and my Third Engineer asks me what it means. I explain it to her to the best of my ability. She is very sympathetic. A few days later she is at my doorstep with a yogurt container. I'm confused. She opens it and it is actually filled with flax seeds, not yogurt. She tells me she read online about PCOS and learnt that seed cycling helps, so she brought what she had with her to share with me. She gives me instructions on how to consume it and checks with me every now and then if I've started ❤️
Dawn is breaking and morning light is slowly flooding into the previously pitch dark wheelhouse. I can now see the shape of an unusual little glass bottle on the chart table. My chief-officer-ears perk up 'was somebody drinking alcohol from a sample bottle on duty?' I go closer to pick it up and it says "Katinko oil" on the label, "used for all pains and aches. Made in the Philippines". I open the bottle and take in the smell, a familiar note hits my nose- Axe oil. It smells so similar to axe oil and all the other menthol oils that my family is addicted to and I've grown fond of. I tell my cadet about it. She asks my permission to go down and bring her own version of it, a Chinese pain relief oil. My Filipino third officer, the owner of the Katinko oil bottle has also joined us on the bridge. We exchange our balms and oils with eachother giggling at this guilty pleasure. My third officer without a second thought tells me she would leave me her bottle when she signs off in a few days, because I said I liked it and it reminded me of home. ❤️
So many different women, all with the same thread of love and kindness innately woven into their beings. I've seen this quality over and over again in the women around me, across ages. They tap into this natural ability to be kind and beautiful without any prompt, any cue. If they see you enjoy something, they'll stock more of it at home. If they know you like a particular color, they will video call you from the store when they see something they think will look nice on you. They will cook you your favourite food and remember things that are important to you. They will excite with you and worry with you. Women are the gold standard. Women make this world an infinitely better place. ❤️
